Where am I now?

Here's where I am as I start this blog. 
 

Health:

• I weigh 340 pounds.  Although that is down from the 360 I was at a few months ago.
• I have 2 bad knees.  Two surgeries for a torn meniscus, no cartilage left, osteoarthritis
• I have a bad foot.   Bone spur, plantar fasciitis
• I have a really bad foot.  Major surgery for an unhealed break, bone spur, accessory navicular syndrome, and a messed-up tendon.  
• I have a bad back.  3 degenerative discs in my lower back.
• I have high blood pressure.
• I am still on blood thinners from a blood clot episode. (Blech!)
• I wouldn’t be surprised if I have type 2 diabetes but I don’t want to go to the doctor to find out.
• I am tired ALL the time.

And so we come to the vicious catch 22:
The problem with all this is that almost all my problems are related to my weight.
But it is hard to lose weight because these problems make it hard to exercise.

Somehow I have to find a way to break the stalemate.  I think I have to just fight through the physical pain, knowing that as I lose weight, the problems will ease. 
Plus, in reality, I think I use the health problems as an excuse.  They are real problems, and I am in pain pretty much all the time.  But I always claim that I have a high pain threshold.  So why don’t I prove it by just gritting my teeth and doing what I have to in order to lose the weight?

It seems that the other issues in my life – money, social, house, work, etc. - are all secondary to this overwhelming issue.  So for now, this has to be my focus.  Not in a “I’m going on a diet” kind of way, but in a “I have got to take control of my life” way. 

I am morbidly obese and I hate it.
I refuse to live the rest of my life this way!